Number 20: Infiniti.

If you’re wondering how bad owning an Infiniti is, if you were stupid enough to purchase an Infiniti QX70 S Auto 3.0 diesel SUV in 2014 - early $90,000s on the road, you’ll trade it in today for about $27,000.

Call it two-thirds of the capital investment up in smoke in four years.

Number 19: Citroen. Gorgeous design. Average reliability at best. Crap support, historically, although a new distributor might put a dent in that over time. But virtually zero sales - they don’t even manage to sell 50 Citroens a month.

Number 18: MINI. I know. I watched The Italian Job, too - both versions. I get it. But the novelty is going to wear off.

Some poor bastard paid about $65,000 for the shitbox convertible MINI roadster John Cooper Works auto in 2014 and trades it in today for early $20s.

Number 17: Volvo. Don’t waste my time. Volvo is nowhere, commercially. It’s a joke. Styling is great; they drive OK, too. But reliability and support in Australia is shit.

But resale is where Volvo really is number one in number twos. Imagine being the poor sap who bought the MY15 flagship XC60 T6 R-Design.

More than $80k on the road back then down to about $30k for a trade-in today.

Number 16: Jaguar. In ‘Straya, reliability and support are crap - that’s the price of admission. Sales have plummeted since 2016, and resale is a disaster. But aside from that, great idea.

Number 15: Land Rover. It’s everything I said about Jaguar, with added off-road capability. You do not need a Land Rover in your life.

Number 14 - another joke brand: Peugeot. Sales, nowhere. Reliability, nowhere. Support, nowhere. Resale, nowhere. Beautiful styling, though. The fantasy that gets people across the line is: European quality. A step up.

Let’s do two for one now: 12 and 13 - Nissan and Renault. When these companies merged, it was a bad deal for Nissan and a good deal for Renault. But, inevitably, Renault ‘tech’ metastasized into Nissan’s lineup. That was bad. Then the GFC hit, and Nissan suffered irreversible brain damage. And then there’s Nissan’s appalling Jatco CVT transmissions, which are the least reliable in the universe.

Number 11: Mercedes-Benz.Unfortunately, Mercedes-Benz is the worst premium carmaker for customer support. They are the Antichrist at this. This company seems to think Australian Consumer Law is optional, or negotiable. Something those dicks are above.

They are complete arseholes when you have a problem, and they will fight you every inch of the way - to the point of exhaustion.

My strong advice is: Buy a BMW or a Lexus.

Let’s do a mass extinction now: 6, 7, 8, 9 and 10: Everything from Fiat Chrysler. That means Alfa Romeo, Fiat, Chrysler, Jeep and Dodge. This company has the worst combination of poor reliability and shit support. They are truly terrible.

Jeep - the biggest of Fiat Chrysler’s crap brands - managed to inflict more than 30,000 of its shitheaps on unsuspecting ‘Strayans in 2014. But word quickly got around.

They sold only about 8000 in 2017. That has to be commercially unsustainable.

Another mass extinction now: Numbers 3, 4 and 5: Volkswagen, and related shitbox brands Audi and Skoda. This is the company decided it was OK to kill thousands of people prematurely by cheating emissions regulations in a massive, global criminal conspiracy.

It is completely immoral and unimaginably wicked for a carmaker to do this. This was not an accident. It was a calculated criminal conspiracy.

Number two: Ford. Ford is in the worst shape of all time. Globally they are looking to cut $11 billion (US dollars) from the salary budget and more than $20 billion in total from operating costs.

Markets like ours don’t make Ford any money. There are going to be major cuts.

Ford’s engineering is reprehensibly bad, and the company also seems to take delight in not only breaching its consumer law obligations, but (reprehensibly enough) bending you over and profiteering from you, when you are up against it with one of their shit cars.

The number one brand that you should not buy, is Holden. Holden is on the fast track to failure. Poor quality, shit products, terrible support. It’s the unholy trinity of dice rolling with every purchase.

But what really does it for me, with Holden, is trust. You cannot trust Holden. In 2012, Holden accepted a $275 million taxpayer-funded government rescue package. A parachute, stuffed with your money.

They promised to invest $1bn in Australian manufacturing, to keep Australian manufacturing alive for at least a decade.

The next year, they announced the closure of the factory. They kept the money. They didn’t make the investment.

In January 2017 Holden quietly sent $150 million back to Detroit - as part of a bullshit balance sheet restructuring. Kinda says it all right there, don’t you think, about Holden’s purported commitment to Australia? Doing business with Holden is like joining Hannibal Lecter for dinner.

Comments

    • Jack P-J
      Jack P-J

      Hitler's company is still gassing people

      about 4 hours ago
    • 04afretired
      04afretired

      My Dodge Challenger has been AWESOME. I've owned it for nearly 4 years. Seems you can find bad things about any auto brand...being designed and built by humans and all...

      about 1 day ago
    • Chris A
      Chris A

      Ford has been terrible for me...

      about 1 day ago
    • Liz Carroll
      Liz Carroll

      Hope you don't mind an American gal saying your information is great and you should have an International show because you are honest. Thank you..plus, Aussie. I meet many wonderful Australian folks over the years in my national park, and you are utterly mad, but in a good way.

      about 1 day ago
    • neil borodkin
      neil borodkin

      Do you have a review of the 2019 Tiguan?

      about 2 days ago
    • Luis Maldonado
      Luis Maldonado In reply to neil borodkin

      Shit truck. Do not buy

      about 1 day ago
    • LS masterrace
      LS masterrace

      Man I feel bad for everyone in Australia. For some reason alot of brands seem to ship all the lemons to Australia. Hope stuff gets better for yall

      about 3 days ago
    • Ian Buchan
      Ian Buchan

      Landrover are good as well if looked after

      about 3 days ago
    • Ian Buchan
      Ian Buchan

      Jaguar was a reliable car

      about 3 days ago
    • Ian Buchan
      Ian Buchan

      Once you mention that word expert I lose interest its Just your opinion

      about 3 days ago
    • camp0017
      camp0017

      Saying "shit" and "shitty" over a dozen of times instead of concrete, factual information doesn't really sound very expert.

      about 3 days ago
    • Joe Pancari
      Joe Pancari

      The Raptors would cancel out and you'd just end up with velocity.

      about 4 days ago
    • kernowrock555
      kernowrock555

      I was looking at A Subaru Outback...but now it seems they are recalling over 600,000 cars !

      about 4 days ago
    • Javier Chavez
      Javier Chavez

      I totally agree with you! hehe

      about 5 days ago
    • Connor Waite
      Connor Waite

      Worst cars in 2019 brings shit up that happened back in 2013-2014😂 I’ve had my amarok for 4 years now with one small issue which was fixed same day no issues in and out in 3hrs.

      about 5 days ago
    • Greg Brindley
      Greg Brindley

      On the money comments ~ suffice to say that there must be plenty of pissed off people. But alas, the truth hurts. Oh, MB - did you mention service? Umm, aside from paying a ridiculous amount for pathetic servicing; as soon as you're out of warranty it's time to search for either a sharp scalpel (remembering to slit your wrists vertically) or a nice hanging rope.

      about 5 days ago
    • Kermit the Frog
      Kermit the Frog

      LMAO!!!! This is satire right? This shitheel recommends BMW over everything. Unreliable performance cars that cost a fortune in maintenance and parts. Yet claims VW, Seat, Skoda are unreliable shitboxes because he's mad about Dieselgate. This is interesting because when you research most reliable used cars over the past 6 years, There's almost always a vw, seat, or skoda on the list.

      about 6 days ago
    • Lil Shakur
      Lil Shakur

      reliability Lexus - Mercedes-Benz - BMW - Audi

      about 6 days ago
    • otto Vonostrovo
      otto Vonostrovo

      Another mass extinction now: Numbers 3, 4 and 5: Volkswagen, and related shitbox brands Audi and Skoda. This is the company decided it was OK to kill thousands of people prematurely by cheating emissions regulations in a massive, global criminal conspiracy.
      And yet today VW is the biggest seller in the world today!

      about 6 days ago
    • Mojo Lightnin
      Mojo Lightnin

      What is this freakin' jagoff talking about? Where the hell is he? Wait - don't tell me, I don't give a shit. He knows less than shit.

      about 6 days ago
    • billybob2773
      billybob2773

      shitsville, lol

      about 7 days ago
    • Alfmedina
      Alfmedina

      According to this, everything is bad, everything is shit. Then we should ride bicycles, instead. I wonder who paid for this infomercial.

      about 7 days ago
    • peter G
      peter G

      I sold cars for 10 years for a large dealership with 17 brands on one site this is 100% accurate.

      about 7 days ago
    • fabt7
      fabt7

      really...such a crap biased video...basically dont buy a car....your opinion is like an arsehole...everyhody got one...keep yours for you, shite video

      about 7 days ago
    • Jason Troy
      Jason Troy

      I currently own a vf holden Calais v8 . Bloody great car no issues over 4 years . Its a 2014 late . Recently check the price on the open market and it was the same as I paid 4 years ago . John ?

      about 7 days ago
    • Jason Troy
      Jason Troy

      Hey john thanks for the heads up regarding the xf jaguar ? NOT .

      about 7 days ago
    • Thomas Callen
      Thomas Callen

      Don’t get a Subaru either, or just don’t get a diesel Subaru, or enjoy buying a 60k outback and selling it for 19k a year and a half later back to Subaru with a blown engine.

      about 7 days ago
    • Kermit the Frog
      Kermit the Frog In reply to Thomas Callen

      Agreed. at less than 60k miles on my XV diesel, I've already replaced the clutch and DMF due to the dual mass flywheel failing, EGR valve, intercooler, and some other exhaust doodad failed due to carbon buildup and constant computer errors. I'm trading it off next month.

      about 6 days ago
    • Josh Burke
      Josh Burke

      Your whole video was just toxic, I don’t even have to watch till the end to know you’re going to end up putting Holden or ford in the top ten.

      Piss off with your lack of knowledge and Aussie bias.

      about 7 days ago
    • Smufter16
      Smufter16

      Honda and Toyota - I don't even look at anything else.

      about 7 days ago
    • D Maci
      D Maci

      This is horrible video!

      about 8 days ago
    • ! tomekyo
      ! tomekyo

      it looks like you're going to walk mate... ;-) you left the most pathetic brands ever on the list (except for BMW) ...

      about 8 days ago
    • ! tomekyo
      ! tomekyo In reply to ! tomekyo

      +Thomas Callen hell yes, if you ask me. And I'm not talking about reliability or aftersales. Just about the design and lack of "charisma".

      about 7 days ago
    • Thomas Callen
      Thomas Callen In reply to ! tomekyo

      ! tomekyo Toyota is pathetic?

      about 7 days ago